Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Why bother.

So back in June I was convinced to try my hand at internet dating.(Got a very normal relative who met her very normal husband that way). So after a few "you have 5 cats in the photo with you..." conversations, I met a started exchanging emails with a gal who was great, college educated, witty, employed, seemed to click. We swapped photos and agreed to meet for coffee.

So we meet up at a coffee shop about 10 minutes from my house, first thing I notice is her hair is TOTALY differant, as in went from below shoulder length to pixie cut AND a differant color. This bugs me for a few minutes  but we are talking plans here about what we are doing for christmas and new years. She wants to know if I am going to be in town(kinda sudden for first date. I finally ask what her hair's change is all about.

It went like this:

Me :"So your photo you had long brown hair, now you have short, blond, large change"

Her:"It's a wig"

Me(did I mention I can be kinda dense): "Why wear a wig? I think you hair looked nice in your photo."(which I realize could be taken as "your hair looks NOT nice now", which is not what I am trying to say, simply that is it a drastic change from a known good to an unknown which also looks nice).

Her: Well I have was on chemotherapy and well I am bald now, but I stopped the chemotherapy because I didn't like how I felt and have decided to die. The doctors have given me 6-8 months to live which is why I was asking about Christmas  I want my boyfriend to hold my hand while I die."

Me : "... I'm sorry that you have cancer, that sucks." 
(the elephant in the room of, she wants me to emotionally invest in her , get to the serious part of the relationship, so she can die)

Her: " Well ,say something"

Me: "I have to go"

I left and decided that internet dating is not a good plan if you are looking for serious. My relative must be the part of couple from the commercial, while I am the office break room story. In retrospect I am not sure what is worse, that she wanted me to be OK with knowing that she would die after 6-8 months, that she had given up, or that I would have been part of her checklist of life/death. I know breakups happen but to not even have a chance, why bother?

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