Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Why bother.

So back in June I was convinced to try my hand at internet dating.(Got a very normal relative who met her very normal husband that way). So after a few "you have 5 cats in the photo with you..." conversations, I met a started exchanging emails with a gal who was great, college educated, witty, employed, seemed to click. We swapped photos and agreed to meet for coffee.

So we meet up at a coffee shop about 10 minutes from my house, first thing I notice is her hair is TOTALY differant, as in went from below shoulder length to pixie cut AND a differant color. This bugs me for a few minutes  but we are talking plans here about what we are doing for christmas and new years. She wants to know if I am going to be in town(kinda sudden for first date. I finally ask what her hair's change is all about.

It went like this:

Me :"So your photo you had long brown hair, now you have short, blond, large change"

Her:"It's a wig"

Me(did I mention I can be kinda dense): "Why wear a wig? I think you hair looked nice in your photo."(which I realize could be taken as "your hair looks NOT nice now", which is not what I am trying to say, simply that is it a drastic change from a known good to an unknown which also looks nice).

Her: Well I have was on chemotherapy and well I am bald now, but I stopped the chemotherapy because I didn't like how I felt and have decided to die. The doctors have given me 6-8 months to live which is why I was asking about Christmas  I want my boyfriend to hold my hand while I die."

Me : "... I'm sorry that you have cancer, that sucks." 
(the elephant in the room of, she wants me to emotionally invest in her , get to the serious part of the relationship, so she can die)

Her: " Well ,say something"

Me: "I have to go"

I left and decided that internet dating is not a good plan if you are looking for serious. My relative must be the part of couple from the commercial, while I am the office break room story. In retrospect I am not sure what is worse, that she wanted me to be OK with knowing that she would die after 6-8 months, that she had given up, or that I would have been part of her checklist of life/death. I know breakups happen but to not even have a chance, why bother?

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Changing the rules...

So I started dating a normalish(so I thought) back in August for a couple weeks. It didn't work out well... So for starters I was very up front "I am not really looking for super serious, ring shopping , kids, pets , plants, joint checking accounts, ANY of that" on the first date.

She comes back with she is not looking to get serious either just wants to have fun, both in and out of bed, wants to see if they are decent guys out there(I like to think I am one), and not be tied down by commitments having just gotten out of a not so great marriage. OK so sounds like we are on the same sheets of music.

So we go on a couple dates things are kind of fun, getting home from dates is pretty fun too, she has a couple habits that I find annoying and know that long term would drive me INSANE. I emphasize several times that I am not interested in long term, by asking questions about other guys she is dating, if she thinks any of them will get serious, subtly dropping hint that I wasnt able to hang out Sunday night.

So she calls me up on a Wednesday and asks what I am doing on Friday and can I come over for a date/board games night at her house on Friday since her friend from out of town is visiting. I raise an eyebrow but hey that is that, likely the friend will just stay at her house we will head to my house and she will wake up early to make her house guest(who would be alone that night) breakfast. Works fine for me.

Well, the evening they had planned was more like a "dear penthouse forum" letter, in actuality she wanted the friend to participate, and the friend wanted to participate. Since I had no commitments to the relationship (previously stated), either of the women, and a particularly loud shoulder devil I was also fine with things. So things are well into round 2, when the gal who lives in my town up and goes "AGHH I can't do this:" freaks out and leaves. The gal from out of town says, "Well that kinda ruins the fun", and well that was the end of that.

So if you are going to host an orgy, have rules before, and don't change them half way through, it is really unkind to the participants.  

Women are strange.