Tuesday, April 23, 2013

45 Minutes

So after pledging a hiatus from dating since March I kept running into a gal who works with a company my company works with. We see each other say 10-20 minutes every week in little 2 minute encounters when our jobs cross paths. I have been working on dropping 20 lbs since last March and this woman noticed, and commented to my coworker about it while I wasn't in the office. Coworker informed me about this and I decided to "accidentally" run into this woman during the course of the next week.

Having run into this woman and purposefully lengthened the conversation things went well. After several "accidental" encounters(really just swapping little tasks at the office so I would have to swing by her office during her shift), she is bright, educated, cute, and appears to have a level head on her shoulders. So I asked her to coffee and we exchange numbers.

So this is on a Tuesday and coffee isn't until Monday, so we start talking via phone. her shift being 2-11 and mine being 7-5(I work 10's, no lunch). we talk right before I head to bed, the conversations are pretty good, serious topics and light stuff are covered. 5 days of conversations and then coffee day. Coffee goes well, and I get the wild idea to visit the local zoo which has recently acquired a polar bear cub, so we tack going to the small Anchorage zoo to watch the polar bear cub play. The cub is adorable, cuter than a pack of puppies and a litter of kittens.

She asks to do dinner after the zoo(they only let the little guy play for an hour a day) so I know that I she is having a great date. We do dinner and I have to call it a night because I have martial arts class, and she goes for a hug which is where I am at too so it is great. After I get home at 9 from class she has texted me and wants to go out on Friday, we set up arrangements(shooting range, me cooking, and she has asked to see Lincoln which I thought was still in theaters so I agree. Turns out she was thinking DVD(it was out) and my couch. So the activity goes well, the shooting range actually(she has asked about learning to shoot a rifle, I have one that is really easy to learn on so I showed her), then back to town I am cooking dinner, and DVD on the couch.

Obviously we end up making out during the movie, I am a sucker for making out during a movie, I watched "Titanic" 7 times in the theater with my high school girlfriend(that is over 24 hours of my life "watching" Leonardo Di Caprio freeze to death). She goes home at about 9, but not before we set up plans for Saturday night, me cooking a NICE dinner(my confusion about Lincoln being in theaters had resulted in me whipping up something functional but not "nice" instead of being prepared).

Saturday can't happen soon enough and while my morning is busy as could be (8am 13.2 mile run, then martial arts till 1), the afternoon is wide open to plan, prepare and really knock this woman's socks off. I want to impress her, I am starting to invest in the relationship. Things like that she likes coffee and gummy bears(ok gross sounding I'm not going to lie) Coldstone, or thinks cheesy action movies are better than Lifetime dramas, matter to me.

Saturday afternoon comes around and I have whipped up my signature knock any body's socks off dish. Champagne cream sauce chicken and portabelos with asparagus and quinoa on the side. French bread(local french bakery, awesome, tastes like ACTUAL french bread which is a hundred times better than the stuff that Americans try and pass off as "french bread"). Dessert is fancy french pastry cake for desert, 3 layer chocolate mousse(dark, ultra dark, milk) separated by layers of super moist . This goes over... well. She is impressed, more making out on the couch(don't even remember the movie). She asks to spend the night, and I bring up my expectations if that happens; a relationship and all that entails, my dating past(divorce, ),  that I am interested in her, I think she feels the same way, monogamy, the whole package.  She agrees with me.

The next morning sleeping in until 1030 is great, wake up do breakfast and she is out the door at 1130. I shower and get dressed and start checking my email. at 1215 she texts me asking if I can talk on the phone. I call her and ask what the problem is, thinking she has been involved in a wreck(it is icy out side, traffic is pretty rotten). She says she just slept with her ex boyfriend. Now realize that she has been gone for 45 minutes from MY house (things went well for both sides, nobody was lacking), and 45 minutes later is getting nailed by her ex. Mind you this is the ex she hasn't spoken to in a month, and "wasn't serious" with.  So she asks what is going to happen from here and I basically inform her that while I was interested in a relationship, that sorta dried up with the amazing lack of judgement she displayed, much less timing( I mean 45 minutes, I can barely get across town in 45 minutes when traffic is bad), we are not going to happen, hope things work with her Ex/current(not sure of semantics there).

I proceed to get a string of 15 unresponded to text messages, at about one every 2 hours for the next  2 days, and they are several pages long each. Talking about "the one" and mistakes, forgiveness, being with me for all time. Just to clarify this was date 3 or 4 depending on if the extension of date 1 counted as 1 or 2 dates.  Text messages on an IPhone the sender knows you have seen it apparently and it displays this unless you shut the feature off so she knows that I have read them(if I don't my phone keeps buzzing).   A half dozen phone calls, also unanswered.  Then on my first day back at work I tell my boss about things just in case she brings into the office. Guess who shows up 30 minutes after I have left my bosses office...

Yep, my coworker has been briefed on the situation and is totally supportive, sticks around to witness things. Woman tries to ask if I can talk outside and wants to give me ice cream. It appears to be coldstone but not any flavor/mix items I have ever seen before( I'm all about mint, brownie). I tell her "sorry, no, no, just leave". she does. No texts since and I feel like I dodged a bad bullet. Sigh. 45 minutes... FML

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